i miss my dad. alot.

i can exchange anything in my life for my dad. anything, that can bring him back. i dont care what i have to lose just give him back to me.
4 years ago, at this time, he was so sick. i wished i could share some of it, or take it all away, but i could do nothing. i remember it so clearly, the lasts of his days. so little time, so much to do. so many things i wanted to tell him, but too late. i just wished i had been a better daughter. i wished i didnt make it harder for him. i wished i held his hand more often. i want to sit his lap watching the fishes in our pond again. i want to go to the movies and watch all the shows HE wanted to watch. i want to stay at home and watch MY favourite movies that we both loved. musicals we both loved. i want to sit at the balcony simply hearing his stories and knowledge. i want to explore the new eating places he had found for us. i want to go to our favourite place and enjoy the music. i loved so many things because i love him. i missed so many things because he's gone. i didnt know that its the simple things that i remember, the simple things that i missed most. the way he he use to sit the way he folded his arms the way he used to call me the way he laughed.
best dad in the world, you are. i didnt appreciate that. you know the food that you used to cook for us, the ones that i hate? i realise i want them now. you gave us whatever you have, but i didnt take it all in. i am so, so sorry. i wish you stayed a little longer.

its been 4 years, short yet long. i dont cry, i dont want to upset my mum but tis the song that accompanied my pain. we miss the same things.

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends